Frenchless In Paris
just another Filipina away from home.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
trying if my blogsite works
whenever i try to view some contents of my blog, a page comes out saying my blog page has been removed. now i want to try
Monday, December 29, 2014
Facebook Year in Review
i saw this article somewhere on the net about Facebook's new year-end gimmick:
and i can't help but react on this man's rant. well, first, i am sincerely sorry to learn about his loss. i know it's something any of us would never want to go through. but to rant and complain about one of FB's marketing gimmicks, well, i personally think one just shouldn't be facebooking at all if things such as these offend him/her or causes grief.
i mean, come on, there've been a lot of times that FB has invaded on people's privacy (the fb messenger, for one)... and yet, these people continue to be on FB. i mean, sure, we do get offended each time any of the things we post are taken or get used for whatever purpose without our consent. but then don't we also know that anything we post on the internet would somehow, somewhere eventually end up posted or used where we don't want it?
anybody that has a problem with that should just stop facebooking, or subscribing to any social media network and posting stuff on the internet.
and yes, FB's Year in Review is fun for some people. why be a killjoy about it? if u don't like it, you have the option to just simply hide it from your timeline (i haven't checked if you can just delete it, i do know you can hide it, though). i have it on my timeline but i'm not into it because like the man who complained, my year hasn't been great and to post something that implies otherwise just felt wrong to me, so my FB Year in Review is on my timeline but can only be seen by me). and i also know for a fact that while you can not edit its content (the photos included on it) on fb mobile app, you can do so on a regular pc, laptop, or notebook. if you don't like what's in it, you can hide its visibility on your timeline until you have the time or get the chance to log in to your pc, edit it, put whatever photos you want in it, then share the post with your friends or with whomever you wish.
it's good that Facebook has been gracious enough to apologize to the grieved man.
but if it didn't, i still wouldn't be bitching about it.
just sayin'
Friday, December 12, 2014
Nightmare with SFR Red
i know i haven't blogged for a looooong time, but i just need to vent my frustration at SFR. they have this cheap subscription plan called SFR Red, and to be quite fair, their network coverage is good. it is. but the customer service is unbelievably and unforgivably bad.
i lost my mobile phone three weeks ago. and since this is a 100% online-only service, the only way you can have your line suspended is, you guess it, online. but their website is always down when you get to the "report theft and suspend your line" section. and since i had no phone, and i lost it during the weekend, i had to wait two days before i can finally borrow a phone from a friend using the same network provider to call their customer service hotline (which isn't really a hotline because you can call them only from 8AM to 10pm monday to saturday).
so, finally, i was able to call customer service, tell them about my concern, asked my line to be suspended (my sim card had no pin, so the thief could use my line to call anywhere he/she wants, for as long as he/she wants), and ordered a new sim (which isn't free and cost me 10€ on my next bill). i gave them precisely my phone model, so they would send me the correct size of the sim card. the customer service bragged that they would send me a card that is pre-cut for all mobile phone models.
i waited two weeks. two weeks. after that two weeks, i called them again to ask where my sim card has gone and why it was taking too long. i was told the sim card was sent the next day after my first call. so i waited another couple of days. still, no new sim on my mailbox. on my third call, i was asked to just go to any SFR boutique and buy my sim card from there. i was supposed to pay 10€ upfront for the card, and another 10€ again on my bill (which the customer service agent said will be reimbursed on my next, next bill).
i had no choice but to agree, since it's been nearing three weeks that i don't have my telephone line. and i was assured over the phone that i could do that, get a new sim from a boutique, as long as i pay for it. but when i went to an SFR boutique i was told there that they couldn't give me a new sim card because, at the boutiques, they don't have sim cards that are compatible with the subscription that i have (the online subscription), and that i could only get it online. i tried three more boutiques just to be sure. they all told the same thing. and they're not even helpful. they told me, "well, you took the plan that's 100% serviceable online". As if being a customer of SFR RED doesn't make you an SFR customer. As if SFR Red isn't even from SFR.
so again, i called up the customer service, using a friend's phone. and finally, we just agreed for them to send me another sim card. and then i found out they have my address wrong. so that was probably why i never received the first one that they were supposed to have sent. and once again, the customer service agent on the phone bragged that the new sim card is pre-cut to cater to all phone models.
it took me four days before i finally received the new sim. and when i did, i tried to activate it immediately. it's been exactly three weeks that i had no phone line. and again, the only wat to do it is online. imagine my dismay when, as i tried to activate it online, the activation page was asking for a 14-digit number at the back of the card. my card had 13. so again, i had to reach their customer service online. and asked how i can activate the new sim. imagine my new frustration when i was told that i was sent the wrong sim card. that the one they sent me is a post-paid card used for internet subscription. not for a telephone line.
during all my calls, i have precisely told them under which plan i am subscribed to. and yet i was sent the wrong kind of sim card. i mean, wtf??????
so once again, i was promised to receive a new sim card in a few days. at first i was really, really angry. three weeks. three weeks for that. the agent said i will be reimbursed the full month payment on my bill. but it wasn't that that was making me so angry. it was the full three weeks of inconvenience of not being reachable by phone. and then of calling them numerous times, only to be sent the wrong kind of sim card for my subscription. how can they have sent me the wrong kind of sim card for my plan??? they're supposed to have on their records the kind of subscription that i have! and i found out, that they didn't even suspend my line in the first place the first time i called their customer service).
i know that i get what i paid for. i subscribed to a cheap plan, and so ofcourse i get the cheap customer service that they have. but still, it is unacceptable. having no physical customer service is cheap enough. but to have this kind of inconvenience on top of that?
i've been a customer of FreeMobile, which, really, have a great customer service, despite the fact that they're also an online-service only subscription. their online service is very efficient, and very fast. and you very rarely have any issues with Free Mobile that needs their customer service. but their network coverage is really bad, you lost network signal in some parts of a building, and poor coverage in some areas of the city. and despite having 4G, their internet signal is really very poor. i could say the same for the internet signal of Sosh (the cheap online subscription of orange), which i also subscribed to last year).
i have also subscribed to b-and-you (the online subscription of Bouygues Telecom, which, for me, by far is the best, in terms of network and internet coverage. i never lose signal anywhere, and once i've had to order a new sim card when my phone was stolen (yes, i do tend to have my phones stolen frequently in paris). i got my new sim card in just two days after my call. i just transferred to SFR Red because the phone that was handed down to me then was locked to SFR, and at the time, there was no way for me to unlock it).
so now i'm thinking of terminating my subscription the moment i receive my new sim card, and go back to b-and-you. atleast i never had any problem with b-and-you, nor with free, when it comes to their online customer service.
i lost my mobile phone three weeks ago. and since this is a 100% online-only service, the only way you can have your line suspended is, you guess it, online. but their website is always down when you get to the "report theft and suspend your line" section. and since i had no phone, and i lost it during the weekend, i had to wait two days before i can finally borrow a phone from a friend using the same network provider to call their customer service hotline (which isn't really a hotline because you can call them only from 8AM to 10pm monday to saturday).
so, finally, i was able to call customer service, tell them about my concern, asked my line to be suspended (my sim card had no pin, so the thief could use my line to call anywhere he/she wants, for as long as he/she wants), and ordered a new sim (which isn't free and cost me 10€ on my next bill). i gave them precisely my phone model, so they would send me the correct size of the sim card. the customer service bragged that they would send me a card that is pre-cut for all mobile phone models.
i waited two weeks. two weeks. after that two weeks, i called them again to ask where my sim card has gone and why it was taking too long. i was told the sim card was sent the next day after my first call. so i waited another couple of days. still, no new sim on my mailbox. on my third call, i was asked to just go to any SFR boutique and buy my sim card from there. i was supposed to pay 10€ upfront for the card, and another 10€ again on my bill (which the customer service agent said will be reimbursed on my next, next bill).
i had no choice but to agree, since it's been nearing three weeks that i don't have my telephone line. and i was assured over the phone that i could do that, get a new sim from a boutique, as long as i pay for it. but when i went to an SFR boutique i was told there that they couldn't give me a new sim card because, at the boutiques, they don't have sim cards that are compatible with the subscription that i have (the online subscription), and that i could only get it online. i tried three more boutiques just to be sure. they all told the same thing. and they're not even helpful. they told me, "well, you took the plan that's 100% serviceable online". As if being a customer of SFR RED doesn't make you an SFR customer. As if SFR Red isn't even from SFR.
so again, i called up the customer service, using a friend's phone. and finally, we just agreed for them to send me another sim card. and then i found out they have my address wrong. so that was probably why i never received the first one that they were supposed to have sent. and once again, the customer service agent on the phone bragged that the new sim card is pre-cut to cater to all phone models.
it took me four days before i finally received the new sim. and when i did, i tried to activate it immediately. it's been exactly three weeks that i had no phone line. and again, the only wat to do it is online. imagine my dismay when, as i tried to activate it online, the activation page was asking for a 14-digit number at the back of the card. my card had 13. so again, i had to reach their customer service online. and asked how i can activate the new sim. imagine my new frustration when i was told that i was sent the wrong sim card. that the one they sent me is a post-paid card used for internet subscription. not for a telephone line.
during all my calls, i have precisely told them under which plan i am subscribed to. and yet i was sent the wrong kind of sim card. i mean, wtf??????
so once again, i was promised to receive a new sim card in a few days. at first i was really, really angry. three weeks. three weeks for that. the agent said i will be reimbursed the full month payment on my bill. but it wasn't that that was making me so angry. it was the full three weeks of inconvenience of not being reachable by phone. and then of calling them numerous times, only to be sent the wrong kind of sim card for my subscription. how can they have sent me the wrong kind of sim card for my plan??? they're supposed to have on their records the kind of subscription that i have! and i found out, that they didn't even suspend my line in the first place the first time i called their customer service).
i know that i get what i paid for. i subscribed to a cheap plan, and so ofcourse i get the cheap customer service that they have. but still, it is unacceptable. having no physical customer service is cheap enough. but to have this kind of inconvenience on top of that?
i've been a customer of FreeMobile, which, really, have a great customer service, despite the fact that they're also an online-service only subscription. their online service is very efficient, and very fast. and you very rarely have any issues with Free Mobile that needs their customer service. but their network coverage is really bad, you lost network signal in some parts of a building, and poor coverage in some areas of the city. and despite having 4G, their internet signal is really very poor. i could say the same for the internet signal of Sosh (the cheap online subscription of orange), which i also subscribed to last year).
i have also subscribed to b-and-you (the online subscription of Bouygues Telecom, which, for me, by far is the best, in terms of network and internet coverage. i never lose signal anywhere, and once i've had to order a new sim card when my phone was stolen (yes, i do tend to have my phones stolen frequently in paris). i got my new sim card in just two days after my call. i just transferred to SFR Red because the phone that was handed down to me then was locked to SFR, and at the time, there was no way for me to unlock it).
so now i'm thinking of terminating my subscription the moment i receive my new sim card, and go back to b-and-you. atleast i never had any problem with b-and-you, nor with free, when it comes to their online customer service.
UPDATE:
after another week of waiting for the arrival of my sim card, it still didn't arrive. i went online again 7 days after my last contact with the customer service. guess what? they sent the sim card again to the wrong address that they had before. wow, really, SFR??? it's starting to seem as if they really have no intention of providing good customer service, even online.
Friday, January 4, 2013
My Chichi Learns How to Text!!!
that moment when your 6-year old daughter learns how to send a text message... and this is how you found out.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Nguso Kung Nguso...
last night chichi borrowed my phone to play games. a little after that i saw her squinting at the phone's screen with her lips pointed at their highest peak, in what i thought was utter concentration at something that she was trying to view at a certain angle.
i asked her, "chichi, anu bang tintitingnan mo't hirap na hirap ka dyan, kung makanguso ka pa", to which she answered in her bulol pang tagalog "nagkukuha akong picture ko"
and when i saw her self-portrait shot... all i could say, "oh my..."
sigh... please baby... don't try to grow up too fast....
![](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9h_HGDx0rHS8Djk6VqQBQkrxxUJd1n9DmVNhZT5MrX3XL0PpvEdcvfDaxW_Mu2GY7nyxg6jP9jfOPp45qUPnwLbUBNrohbMO6sYUKC1UXiyWblx_eqy6xN5TpKf9zIPSNoPPJQwHv0FlC/)
i asked her, "chichi, anu bang tintitingnan mo't hirap na hirap ka dyan, kung makanguso ka pa", to which she answered in her bulol pang tagalog "nagkukuha akong picture ko"
and when i saw her self-portrait shot... all i could say, "oh my..."
sigh... please baby... don't try to grow up too fast....
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Better Late Than on the 24th!
yup, sa wakas... naitayo na rin namin ang aming kwismas twee!!! (huh? bakit natumba ba??? - Kuya Josel)
we were hoping to put it up earlier this year while gradually adding up wrapped gifts at its feet until christmas eve. but then for some unhappy reasons... we ended up doing it exactly just seven days before christmas eve.
oh well... the important thing is that chichi still enjoyed helping out with the (simple) decorations and of course, the pleasure of crowning the tree with the star is all hers.
![](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/blogger_img_proxy/AEn0k_sxlQJxIUl-2rHT_Fh8aZDX8KDDy-R7v1PqXw-_5--JY_9uq86oLQiVnRB0l_Bu9OvGRiOQ2yLwzX-NRolCvTTl_-bZwTGyLtCTOsCVxotoIUAUx_Qx8-lznw=s0-d)
we were hoping to put it up earlier this year while gradually adding up wrapped gifts at its feet until christmas eve. but then for some unhappy reasons... we ended up doing it exactly just seven days before christmas eve.
oh well... the important thing is that chichi still enjoyed helping out with the (simple) decorations and of course, the pleasure of crowning the tree with the star is all hers.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Meron Din Dito Non!
exactly five days ago,during alan's afternoon break from work, he came home to find our apartment had been burglarized while we were all out (alan and i were at work and chichi was in school). in a panicked and teary voice, he called me at work to tell me the bad news. i actually had to tell him to calm down and check what are missing. yes, burglaries happen here, too, in France. it's not something new to me. i've heard of other filipino families' homes that have been burglarized before. heck, somebody even burgled my brother's home in Marseilles last year (good thing, though, that here in France, burglars break in to people's homes when the occupants are not at home). but still... it's something that you never expect, or you never imagine would happen, in your own home. especially when you live in a very, very, very old building like ours.i mean...
really, our building is ancient. and not like the 'chic' kind of ancient, mind you. it's cheap-ancient (arghhh..... one day i'll take a picture of the building where our apartment is housed and you'll understand what i meant). or maybe that just made our building easier to get into, because it's old, not that much security, etc...
the repairman that the insurance company sent us to check our door after the break-in told us that our door lock was made of very good quality. apparently, the wood in which our door was made of probably wasn't. because the burglar was able to hack into it (literally) to get to the lock.
it's a good thing, though, that the burglar (i'm pretty positive it's just one person) who entered our apartment was only after some cash (and jewelry). i wouldn't say what he was able to take away was just some petty cash. and the jewelry... oh, i don't even want to think about how much they're worth... there wasn't a lot that was taken from me, just a couple of gold rings and some pairs of earrings (i don't own a lot of gold jewelry), chichi's jewelry were worth more (coz she owns more than i do)... and alan has most. i never realized he owned a lot until we started to assess the amount of the jewelry that the burglar took, because alan never liked to wear any gold jewelry before. and he seemed to have taken a fancy to alan's wrist watches, and perfumes as well.... i swear i don't even want to start thinking about how much all those cost... but trying to think positively, i just thought that, if the burglar decided to also take all our other valuables at home (which, consist mostly of tech gadgets) he would have gotten much, much more. i would be totally devastated if that happened because those things aren't something that you can just save up for to buy any day.
i think the burglar was most likely to be in his teens. owing to the fact that he didn't bother to take any of our gadgets (which were all over our home), which meant that he didn't want to bother about selling those stuff, and the fact that he took interest in alan's perfumes. and lastly... because he took the time to open and devour chichi's calendar chocolates (i don't know how to describe it, but it's a box containing pieces of individually wrapped chocolates where you open just one piece each day, it's a french christmas thing... and it certainly is a hassle to open one piece, much more all of them while you're burgling!). he could have eaten any other food or chocolate at home, but he ate chichi's. that's a "children's chocolate", dude! geesh, he probably hardly ever got some when he was a kid.
what's sad, though, is the fact that in burglaries, our insurance does not cover cash, and stolen items that have no proof of purchase. most of our jewelry were given to us as gifts, and those that we bought, we no longer have the receipts for. so basically, we really won't be getting any compensation from our insurance.
and while i'm still glad and thankful that the burglar didn't take away everything (like what happened with my brother's home where the burglar took all of their cash and valuables... you know, jewelry and all the stuff that could be hand-carried).. i'm most annoyed with the fact that he left our home in such an awful mess! i mean... each and every one of our relative has always known that you'll never find our home neat and in order at any random day. in fact, there's a whole bunch of fresh laundry that needed to be folded and put away that were piled just on top of our bed, and some of chichi's toys in every corner of the living room. but to leave our home like this, with every single piece of clothing scattered on the floor... even those summer and autumn/spring clothes that we've already packed and put away. and even chichi's small clothes, and ours, that we don't use anymore and were put inside boxes... the old and small and new and clean and dirty clothes... all of them mixed and scattered all over the place. man, what was the dude thinking??? well, i know he was looking for money. but did he really expect us to stash our cash in the hamper???? and the papers... oh the papers that we've painstakingly sorted into categories and folders are all helter-skelter on the floor of the living room and some in the dining area as well. he just left us with two-weeks' worth of organizing and sorting!
the door's lock has already been temporarily repaired. the insurance company is yet to get back to us to have the whole thing replaced. the fingerprints taken, the police reports filed, and chichi's calendar chocolate replaced.
yet two thirds of the mess on the floor still remains. we haven't even started sorting out all the eight years' worth of accumulated papers/documents that the effing bast*rd scattered all over our place.
and chichi was soooooo looking forward to putting up the christmas tree this weekend.
oh well, good luck next weekend.
![]() |
how the burglar broke our door to get inside our apartment |
the repairman that the insurance company sent us to check our door after the break-in told us that our door lock was made of very good quality. apparently, the wood in which our door was made of probably wasn't. because the burglar was able to hack into it (literally) to get to the lock.
it's a good thing, though, that the burglar (i'm pretty positive it's just one person) who entered our apartment was only after some cash (and jewelry). i wouldn't say what he was able to take away was just some petty cash. and the jewelry... oh, i don't even want to think about how much they're worth... there wasn't a lot that was taken from me, just a couple of gold rings and some pairs of earrings (i don't own a lot of gold jewelry), chichi's jewelry were worth more (coz she owns more than i do)... and alan has most. i never realized he owned a lot until we started to assess the amount of the jewelry that the burglar took, because alan never liked to wear any gold jewelry before. and he seemed to have taken a fancy to alan's wrist watches, and perfumes as well.... i swear i don't even want to start thinking about how much all those cost... but trying to think positively, i just thought that, if the burglar decided to also take all our other valuables at home (which, consist mostly of tech gadgets) he would have gotten much, much more. i would be totally devastated if that happened because those things aren't something that you can just save up for to buy any day.
i think the burglar was most likely to be in his teens. owing to the fact that he didn't bother to take any of our gadgets (which were all over our home), which meant that he didn't want to bother about selling those stuff, and the fact that he took interest in alan's perfumes. and lastly... because he took the time to open and devour chichi's calendar chocolates (i don't know how to describe it, but it's a box containing pieces of individually wrapped chocolates where you open just one piece each day, it's a french christmas thing... and it certainly is a hassle to open one piece, much more all of them while you're burgling!). he could have eaten any other food or chocolate at home, but he ate chichi's. that's a "children's chocolate", dude! geesh, he probably hardly ever got some when he was a kid.
what's sad, though, is the fact that in burglaries, our insurance does not cover cash, and stolen items that have no proof of purchase. most of our jewelry were given to us as gifts, and those that we bought, we no longer have the receipts for. so basically, we really won't be getting any compensation from our insurance.
![]() | |||
a view of our bedroom floor from our tiny hallway. |
![]() |
and this is how he left our living room |
the door's lock has already been temporarily repaired. the insurance company is yet to get back to us to have the whole thing replaced. the fingerprints taken, the police reports filed, and chichi's calendar chocolate replaced.
yet two thirds of the mess on the floor still remains. we haven't even started sorting out all the eight years' worth of accumulated papers/documents that the effing bast*rd scattered all over our place.
and chichi was soooooo looking forward to putting up the christmas tree this weekend.
oh well, good luck next weekend.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Chichi Singing Faithfully
i was going through my phone's voice memos, and i found this voice record of chichi that she recorded on August 11th of last year. i remember there had been a time when she was sooooo fond of singing Journey's Faithfully just because i had it on my phone's ipod and she used to hear it a lot. but she was only singing the chorus, though. and she used to record her voice from my phone whenever she did. i'm posting it here coz i found it so funny that she corrected herself a few times to say the word "forever" right.
this voice memo was recorded two weeks after the first one above. this wasn't the second time she sang it, she sang the darn song everyday. and she had like, i think about twenty-five voice records of this song on my phone, but this one is the only version she recorded where she sang the chorus and the adlib together. she was out of tune but she sounded so sweet.
this voice memo was recorded two weeks after the first one above. this wasn't the second time she sang it, she sang the darn song everyday. and she had like, i think about twenty-five voice records of this song on my phone, but this one is the only version she recorded where she sang the chorus and the adlib together. she was out of tune but she sounded so sweet.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
on girls and makeup
just a couple of weeks ago i asked my daughter what she wants for christmas. she said she wanted a dog. today we went to the Toys 'R Us store, and she was making a list of 5 different gifts she wants to get for christmas from her relatives from Alan's side. she completed her list without showing any indication that she's too impatient for christmas.but since she was being too adorably nice today, as a reward, we told her to pick any toy she wants to buy now, and we'll buy it.she said she doesn't wanna buy anything today, coz she wants to save everything for christmas. she was pretty adamant about that.
but then on our way towards the exit, we passed by a section of shelves where girls' accessories are on display. and one item, i shouldn't have been surprised, immediately caught her attention. "Nanay, Nanay, i want this!!! can we buy this now, please??? this is my reward gift! you said i'm entitled to one toy today! i want this!"
and what she wanted, actually, is this (and it's not even a toy!)
well, it was almost predictable that she'd want that... since last year my five year-old daughter has been fascinated with makeups!
but of course we didn't buy it for her. no matter how well she behaved at the toy store today.
bah, in my time, girls that age don't play with make ups (hmmm.... probably because makeups weren't sold as "toys" in toy stores back then?).
and there's something about young girls putting makeup on their faces just for fun, that just didn't sit right with parents... not just mine, but all the other parents i knew! for in my time... if you're just a teenager and you're already putting cosmetics on your face, such as makeup, and you wear it in public, your peers won't look at you and say, "wow! you look fab!" they won't think you look elegant or sophisticated. instead, you'll be regarded as "malandi" (flirt). unless you're a star/celebrity, in which case, you're exempted from this sort of stereotyping because that's part of your job.
if you're not, there are just several handful special occasions in which, if you're below 18, you're allowed to putheavy makeup on your young and delicate skin... such as... (and this also applies to little girls below age 6)
1. if you're one of the muses of the sagala or flores de mayo
2 .if you're attending a wedding to which you're one of the bride's maids, or the flower girls
3. if you're participating in some kind of a beauty contest, or any other kind of activity which will require you to come up on stage and sing or dance or act or talk or walk in front of more than one hundred people (if the number of people watching amounts to less than that, then the ocassion's not that special and wearing makeup just ain't worth the effort. it is desirable (in that age!) yes. but not required.
as i grew older, i witnessed the fact that nowadays, younger generations start to wear (light) makeup in high school. oh, no doubt girls here in Europe do that much earlier than Filipina girls do in the Philippines (most Filipino parents are still conservative, after all). and i also noticed that nowadays, wearing makeup in school or in public will no longer earn you a reputation of being flirty... but most of the time you will have peers, friends, classmates who will whisper behind your back and say you're only pretty because you're wearing makeup. ha-ha.
well, i'm not too worried that my daughter will have friends who'll think she's malandi just because she's playing with makeup and putting them on her face. neither am i worried that when she reached 12 she'll want to wear makeup to go to school and that her friends might say she's not naturally pretty.... we're in Europe.... makeup kits are sold all over the toy stores! all the little girls i know have some sort of a makeup set among their toys. it's "domestically legal". one time i picked up my daughter from her leisure class only to find her wearing blush on and lipstick and eye shadow. i totally freaked out and told the school coordinator that i didn't want them, ever, to put makeup on my daughter's face, she just looked at me as if i'm a maniac or something. she asked why and i said, "because she's only four years old" and then i looked around me and i saw other girls the same age as my daughter's wearing makeup themselves. apparently, they sometimes play "make over" in their leisure class, too. so, okay... wearing, or putting on, or playing with, makeup, at the earliest time they become aware of it, is not inappriopriate anymore. they're being sold as toys, so of course children can play with them and wear them.
my only concern now is to make sure that these toy makeups do not contain ingredients that are harmful to the skin. i'm sure a lot of Filipino women my age will be able to relate when i say that one of the reasons why most pinay girls from my generation didn't like to wear makeup was because we were so worried that some makeup ingredients are going to harm our skin. i came from a family with acne-prone skin (my husband did, too) so as much as possible, i tried to avoid putting any cosmetic stuff on my face. i didn't even start to put on compact face powder on a regular basis until i was 30 (seriously!). and even now, some makeup advertisements boast about not containing paraben (a harmful substance) in their products. that makes me wonder what these toy makeup for children are made up of?
i was able to coax chichi into agreeing to give me some time first to research the makeup's ingredients to make sure it's safe for her to use. aside from the fact that my daughter is always agreeable, i only had to show her her father's acne scars to point out that's what happens if she puts anything harmful on her face. baaaaadddd... but hey, if it gets my message across, well....
but then on our way towards the exit, we passed by a section of shelves where girls' accessories are on display. and one item, i shouldn't have been surprised, immediately caught her attention. "Nanay, Nanay, i want this!!! can we buy this now, please??? this is my reward gift! you said i'm entitled to one toy today! i want this!"
and what she wanted, actually, is this (and it's not even a toy!)
well, it was almost predictable that she'd want that... since last year my five year-old daughter has been fascinated with makeups!
but of course we didn't buy it for her. no matter how well she behaved at the toy store today.
bah, in my time, girls that age don't play with make ups (hmmm.... probably because makeups weren't sold as "toys" in toy stores back then?).
and there's something about young girls putting makeup on their faces just for fun, that just didn't sit right with parents... not just mine, but all the other parents i knew! for in my time... if you're just a teenager and you're already putting cosmetics on your face, such as makeup, and you wear it in public, your peers won't look at you and say, "wow! you look fab!" they won't think you look elegant or sophisticated. instead, you'll be regarded as "malandi" (flirt). unless you're a star/celebrity, in which case, you're exempted from this sort of stereotyping because that's part of your job.
if you're not, there are just several handful special occasions in which, if you're below 18, you're allowed to put
1. if you're one of the muses of the sagala or flores de mayo
2 .if you're attending a wedding to which you're one of the bride's maids, or the flower girls
3. if you're participating in some kind of a beauty contest, or any other kind of activity which will require you to come up on stage and sing or dance or act or talk or walk in front of more than one hundred people (if the number of people watching amounts to less than that, then the ocassion's not that special and wearing makeup just ain't worth the effort. it is desirable (in that age!) yes. but not required.
as i grew older, i witnessed the fact that nowadays, younger generations start to wear (light) makeup in high school. oh, no doubt girls here in Europe do that much earlier than Filipina girls do in the Philippines (most Filipino parents are still conservative, after all). and i also noticed that nowadays, wearing makeup in school or in public will no longer earn you a reputation of being flirty... but most of the time you will have peers, friends, classmates who will whisper behind your back and say you're only pretty because you're wearing makeup. ha-ha.
well, i'm not too worried that my daughter will have friends who'll think she's malandi just because she's playing with makeup and putting them on her face. neither am i worried that when she reached 12 she'll want to wear makeup to go to school and that her friends might say she's not naturally pretty.... we're in Europe.... makeup kits are sold all over the toy stores! all the little girls i know have some sort of a makeup set among their toys. it's "domestically legal". one time i picked up my daughter from her leisure class only to find her wearing blush on and lipstick and eye shadow. i totally freaked out and told the school coordinator that i didn't want them, ever, to put makeup on my daughter's face, she just looked at me as if i'm a maniac or something. she asked why and i said, "because she's only four years old" and then i looked around me and i saw other girls the same age as my daughter's wearing makeup themselves. apparently, they sometimes play "make over" in their leisure class, too. so, okay... wearing, or putting on, or playing with, makeup, at the earliest time they become aware of it, is not inappriopriate anymore. they're being sold as toys, so of course children can play with them and wear them.
my only concern now is to make sure that these toy makeups do not contain ingredients that are harmful to the skin. i'm sure a lot of Filipino women my age will be able to relate when i say that one of the reasons why most pinay girls from my generation didn't like to wear makeup was because we were so worried that some makeup ingredients are going to harm our skin. i came from a family with acne-prone skin (my husband did, too) so as much as possible, i tried to avoid putting any cosmetic stuff on my face. i didn't even start to put on compact face powder on a regular basis until i was 30 (seriously!). and even now, some makeup advertisements boast about not containing paraben (a harmful substance) in their products. that makes me wonder what these toy makeup for children are made up of?
i was able to coax chichi into agreeing to give me some time first to research the makeup's ingredients to make sure it's safe for her to use. aside from the fact that my daughter is always agreeable, i only had to show her her father's acne scars to point out that's what happens if she puts anything harmful on her face. baaaaadddd... but hey, if it gets my message across, well....
Colors of the Fall
i just found myself feeling bored so i decided to take a walk in the vast Luxembourg Garden. It was a somber November morning... dark, and a bit gloomy, as if hinting of a rain, which never came.
there were fallen leaves every where, but the trees aren't completely bare yet. and the remaining leaves on the trees are of varied colors. it's a gloomy day, but a bit colorful, just the same, especially when set against a beautiful "backdrop" such as the Luxembourg Garden. i just had the urge to snap away at these trees, at these leaves to capture this particular mood of Autumn.
it's a shame i was just using my mobile phone to take pictures, so the photos were kind of dark. they might have turned out better had i used a real camera. or they probably won't. either way, i'm not a photographer, so it probably wouldn't matter what camera i used, these pictures don't do justice to the beauty of the scenery, but what the heck... atleast i tried to capture them.
see more photos from this album HERE
there were fallen leaves every where, but the trees aren't completely bare yet. and the remaining leaves on the trees are of varied colors. it's a gloomy day, but a bit colorful, just the same, especially when set against a beautiful "backdrop" such as the Luxembourg Garden. i just had the urge to snap away at these trees, at these leaves to capture this particular mood of Autumn.
it's a shame i was just using my mobile phone to take pictures, so the photos were kind of dark. they might have turned out better had i used a real camera. or they probably won't. either way, i'm not a photographer, so it probably wouldn't matter what camera i used, these pictures don't do justice to the beauty of the scenery, but what the heck... atleast i tried to capture them.
see more photos from this album HERE
Monday, October 31, 2011
....
i've been closely stalking following the fb page you created for your baby. when i first hit the "like" button, my only intention was to join in on the prayer (you said in your page description, that every person's 'like' button clicked is an equivalent to that person's prayers sent.
so i 'liked' it.
i thought maybe you'll notice that i 'liked' his page, or maybe you won't. but if you did, at least you'll know that i'm praying with you. i admit that i may have had other less sympathetic initial reaction when i first heard about your ordeal... but believe me when i say that when i saw the picture of your little angel, my heart melted. maybe not totally for you, but for your baby. after all, i'm a parent,too.
when i first 'liked' his page, i thought that would be the one and only time i will visit that page. i had no idea i'd be coming back to it every day. i had no idea how much i would care.
from the moment that i first visited his page, there wasn't a day that went by that i would not visit it to look for updates, to hope to read any good news of his health. in all those times, in all those days that i visited his page, there were only two occasions when i finally gathered enough guts to ask you how he's doing, if there's any news of improvement on his condition. and in those couple of times, i wanted to ask you so many questions. but i didn't feel like i have a right. i felt that the fact that we know each other personally does not give me the privilege to ask you questions, to ask for details you may not choose to share.
or have not yet shared in public.
plus it felt awkward, and unwelcome, to ask.
yesterday i read your update on the result of his DNA tests. actually, i read it last friday on your twitter status. you didn't say it was your angel's condition. i just knew it was. but i never had the time to look it up right away. this morning i checked his page again to read the latest. and from there i looked up the internet to read about his condition. and my heart broke.
i thought about you. i thought about your wife. i thought about how you two might be feeling when you read the results. i thought about reaching out to you. i saw you online. i wanted to buzz you and ask you how you are. i wanted to ask you how your little angel is. i wanted to ask you if the US doctors ever gave you any encouragement, any positive words to hold on to. i read about how very, very, rarely that children affected by this condition survive past a day. your angel has made it through for a month now. i wanted to ask you if the US hospital offered you any help, any support, in exchange for an opportunity to study your angel's condition, on a living patient. this is a rare occurrence! surely they would be interested in helping your little angel to survive! they've got to be! but all my questions didn't just feel unwelcome. they felt intrusive, even to me.
then i read those articles again from the internet. oh, how much i felt for your family! and how much i admire your wife's courage.
i can only hope and pray for more courage for you in these very difficult times. i wish i could tell you, somehow let you know how much this news grieves me, too.
but i can only silently weep for you. :(
so i 'liked' it.
i thought maybe you'll notice that i 'liked' his page, or maybe you won't. but if you did, at least you'll know that i'm praying with you. i admit that i may have had other less sympathetic initial reaction when i first heard about your ordeal... but believe me when i say that when i saw the picture of your little angel, my heart melted. maybe not totally for you, but for your baby. after all, i'm a parent,too.
when i first 'liked' his page, i thought that would be the one and only time i will visit that page. i had no idea i'd be coming back to it every day. i had no idea how much i would care.
from the moment that i first visited his page, there wasn't a day that went by that i would not visit it to look for updates, to hope to read any good news of his health. in all those times, in all those days that i visited his page, there were only two occasions when i finally gathered enough guts to ask you how he's doing, if there's any news of improvement on his condition. and in those couple of times, i wanted to ask you so many questions. but i didn't feel like i have a right. i felt that the fact that we know each other personally does not give me the privilege to ask you questions, to ask for details you may not choose to share.
or have not yet shared in public.
plus it felt awkward, and unwelcome, to ask.
yesterday i read your update on the result of his DNA tests. actually, i read it last friday on your twitter status. you didn't say it was your angel's condition. i just knew it was. but i never had the time to look it up right away. this morning i checked his page again to read the latest. and from there i looked up the internet to read about his condition. and my heart broke.
i thought about you. i thought about your wife. i thought about how you two might be feeling when you read the results. i thought about reaching out to you. i saw you online. i wanted to buzz you and ask you how you are. i wanted to ask you how your little angel is. i wanted to ask you if the US doctors ever gave you any encouragement, any positive words to hold on to. i read about how very, very, rarely that children affected by this condition survive past a day. your angel has made it through for a month now. i wanted to ask you if the US hospital offered you any help, any support, in exchange for an opportunity to study your angel's condition, on a living patient. this is a rare occurrence! surely they would be interested in helping your little angel to survive! they've got to be! but all my questions didn't just feel unwelcome. they felt intrusive, even to me.
then i read those articles again from the internet. oh, how much i felt for your family! and how much i admire your wife's courage.
i can only hope and pray for more courage for you in these very difficult times. i wish i could tell you, somehow let you know how much this news grieves me, too.
but i can only silently weep for you. :(
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Chichi's Dance Class
this is a part of a dance choreography that chichi is learning from her dance class.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
hello, stranger...
there was a time in our lives when we could talk about almost everything and anything under the sun, moon and stars. or we could just sit together for hours without talking, just enjoying each other's company.
there was a time in our lives when we could finish each other's sentences. or sometimes we didn't even have to... we already understood what each wanted to say.
was it really that long ago? maybe it was.
don't you find it odd, that whereas before, we never used to run out of things to say to each other.. now we have nothing to say? that now, whenever i see you... we don't even say hi, and just to ask you how you're doing feels strangely inappropriate. and so sadly unwelcome.
it feels really odd.... because you were almost like my diary in those years. like a notebook that i wrote the story of my life on. and i always felt i was the same to you. i used to know you a lot. i used to know the story of your life, too.
i still do.
i wonder where you put mine? i wish you'd kept it, like i kept yours. but i can imagine you simply threw those pages away. and left only fresh ones for someone else to write the story of their lives on.
so that now, when i want to look for my story on your pages... i'll never find any traces of me in you.
funny how there was a time when you were the most important person in my life. but now you're just like a stranger.
that's why there's nothing to say.
at all.
there was a time in our lives when we could finish each other's sentences. or sometimes we didn't even have to... we already understood what each wanted to say.
was it really that long ago? maybe it was.
don't you find it odd, that whereas before, we never used to run out of things to say to each other.. now we have nothing to say? that now, whenever i see you... we don't even say hi, and just to ask you how you're doing feels strangely inappropriate. and so sadly unwelcome.
it feels really odd.... because you were almost like my diary in those years. like a notebook that i wrote the story of my life on. and i always felt i was the same to you. i used to know you a lot. i used to know the story of your life, too.
i still do.
i wonder where you put mine? i wish you'd kept it, like i kept yours. but i can imagine you simply threw those pages away. and left only fresh ones for someone else to write the story of their lives on.
so that now, when i want to look for my story on your pages... i'll never find any traces of me in you.
funny how there was a time when you were the most important person in my life. but now you're just like a stranger.
that's why there's nothing to say.
at all.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Chichi and Her Tooth (teeth) Story
when chichi was born they (the doctors) at the hospital immediately let me breastfeed her right after she came out (of course they cleaned her first, then they gave her to me to feed). the moment she latched on to me i already felt pain. but hey, she's my first child, and that was my first time to breastfeed, so naturally i thought the pain was normal. a few minutes after feeding, the doctors took her from me for a physical check, while i went to sleep (it was 2 in the morning then, i think, and i was toooooooooo tired). i remember i haven't dozed off too long when alan came in to my room and started to shake me excitedly. he asked me if i knew that our daughter had teeth. i was too sleepy and bangenge that my only reply was, "talaga? di nga?" then i prompty went back to sleep.
the next morning, i was breastfeeding chichi and was feeling the pain in my nipples again when i remembered the dream (or so i thought) i had of alan telling me that our daughter has teeth. so i unlatched my daughter from my breasts and opened her mouth. and voila!
wow!!! so it was true then! and that was why it hurt like hell? hehe..
on the second day of breastfeeding, the pain was already starting to take its toll on my nipples. i almost gave up breastfeeding altogether, but the doctors and the nurses in the hospital in which i gave birth support breastfeeding so much that they were giving me different options to lessen the pain. upon the nurse's suggestion, i used some sort of a silicone cap (probably the same material they used for baby bottle teethings) over my breast, cupped over my nipples. so that whenever she breastfeeds, she was biting on the silicone instead of my skin. but it worried me that chichi wasn't that much of a latcher, and everytime she sucks, the cap falls loose from my skin and she sucks in air, too, along with the milk. so at the end of the day, i stopped using the silicone cup altogether.
on the third day, my daughter's two lower incisors have pushed out fully and were already causing my nipples to bleed while she's feeding! but my doctor and my mother insisted that i kept on breastfeeding her. she also said that no matter how sore i became, no matter how many times my nipples bleed, she told me they will always heal by themselves in a matter of hours. i didn't believe her. but i listened to her. and besides, the nurse suggested that i apply some sort of cream (i think it was lanolin) to my sore nipples to help with the pain. so that's what i did.
i continued to breastfeed my daughter until she was eight months old. i took her to work with me, and i breastfed her at feeding times. whenever we went out i'd go to a corner and breastfeed her when she's hungry (breastfeeding meant there's really no specific feeding time) it's a good thing that here in france, breastfeeding in public is not considered indecent... but you should still try to do it as decently as possible, though (",)
in the beginning we considered to have the teeth pulled out. but the doctors and eventually, her dentist (she had to regularly see a dentist to check if the teeth were wobbly and to determine if they were choking hazard) decided that they were sturdy enough to be left alone, unless they start wobbling. and later on they also determined that her prenatal teeth were also her baby teeth. so if we decided to pull them out, she'd have had two holes in her gums until her permanent teeth grow out, which, the dentist said, won't, until she's atleast 6 (at the earliest) or 7 years old.
turns out he was wrong. well, atleast in my daughter's case.
this morning, she was standing in front of the mirror while she was waiting for me to get all my stuff ready (i was going to drop her to school on my way to work). then she came up behind me and opened her mouth to show me her gums. at five years old, chichi's first permanent tooth erupted atleast a year sooner than they're normally supposed to come out.
oh well... guess we'll have to set an appointment with the dentist soon.
the next morning, i was breastfeeding chichi and was feeling the pain in my nipples again when i remembered the dream (or so i thought) i had of alan telling me that our daughter has teeth. so i unlatched my daughter from my breasts and opened her mouth. and voila!
chichi's gums approximately seven hours after she was born |
wow!!! so it was true then! and that was why it hurt like hell? hehe..
chichi's gums on her second day |
on the third day, chichi's two prenatal teeth have fully erupted from her gums |
i continued to breastfeed my daughter until she was eight months old. i took her to work with me, and i breastfed her at feeding times. whenever we went out i'd go to a corner and breastfeed her when she's hungry (breastfeeding meant there's really no specific feeding time) it's a good thing that here in france, breastfeeding in public is not considered indecent... but you should still try to do it as decently as possible, though (",)
in the beginning we considered to have the teeth pulled out. but the doctors and eventually, her dentist (she had to regularly see a dentist to check if the teeth were wobbly and to determine if they were choking hazard) decided that they were sturdy enough to be left alone, unless they start wobbling. and later on they also determined that her prenatal teeth were also her baby teeth. so if we decided to pull them out, she'd have had two holes in her gums until her permanent teeth grow out, which, the dentist said, won't, until she's atleast 6 (at the earliest) or 7 years old.
turns out he was wrong. well, atleast in my daughter's case.
this morning, she was standing in front of the mirror while she was waiting for me to get all my stuff ready (i was going to drop her to school on my way to work). then she came up behind me and opened her mouth to show me her gums. at five years old, chichi's first permanent tooth erupted atleast a year sooner than they're normally supposed to come out.
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chichi's first permanent lower incisor growing out behind her prenatal teeth |
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Finally Got My French Driver's Licence!!!
Not because I passed the coding test, of course! and good thing i didn't have to. I was starting to think i have no choice but to take it, because when I applied to have my licence exchanged three years ago, I was told I couldn't. My application was refused right then and there. And then three months ago, I received a letter from the prefecture asking me to bring the original copy of my philippine driver's licence, so they could exchange it to a french one.
I waited three years to have this!
I waited three years to have this!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Bonchon and Wendy's (July 14, 2011)
Post-Reunion, Emman's Birthday and Charle's Farewell Dinner all in one night.
click on our picture below to view all photos:
click on our picture below to view all photos:
![]() |
L-R: Farah Bantiles, Me, Charles Kue, Emman Galupo, Michael Sevilla |
Thursday, July 14, 2011
UPDATED: More Then and Now Photos
Syempre eto na naman ako sa mga then and now photos ko, hehe... 'la lang... ang saya lang...
this time, with my #istambayan friendly friends.
this time, with my #istambayan friendly friends.
circa 2003, at Sarah's
L-R: Nikki, Jo, Zel, me |
L-R: me, Joyce, Mai |
circa 2008, Gilligan's Trinoma, QC
Clockwise L-R: Joyce, Me, Jo, Zel, Mai (wala si nikki pinagpalit kami sa lovelife) and just recently: |
2011, Backdoor Blues Cafe, QC
![]() |
Clockwise: Jo, me, zel and joyce |
yun laang ala pa rin si nikki, and this time wala si Mai...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Night Out With My UP Friends (July 11, 2011)
North Park, Trinoma
Backdoor Blues Cafe, QC
with Zel Zalamea, Joyce Keziah Ramos, Ahmed Paglinawan, Aileen Rachelle Rabago, Jo-Ann Fajardo, Feli Cuevas, and Liyam Estrada
CLICK HERE to view more photos!
Backdoor Blues Cafe, QC
with Zel Zalamea, Joyce Keziah Ramos, Ahmed Paglinawan, Aileen Rachelle Rabago, Jo-Ann Fajardo, Feli Cuevas, and Liyam Estrada
CLICK HERE to view more photos!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Eto Na!!!!!!
BALARA ACADEMY BATCH '95 GRAND REUNION!!!
July 9, 2011
Dapo Bar and Restaurant
click any of the pictures below to view more photos! (note: it doesn't matter which photo you click, they all take you to the same album).
July 9, 2011
Dapo Bar and Restaurant
click any of the pictures below to view more photos! (note: it doesn't matter which photo you click, they all take you to the same album).
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Food Tasting Get-Together
had a great time bonding with the BA '95 Batch Reunion Organizers (Farah, Catherine Hernandez, Louie Castillo, and Allan Alcayde, and Charles Kue) for some food-tasting treat in Dapo Bar and Resto (that's where the reunion will be held). i wasn't supposed to be there, kase nagpapa-cute at nagpapa-importante ako, hehehe... buti na lang pala sumama ako.
And as always with such bonding sessions, bitin lagi ang oras. so after Dapo Bar and Resto, Louie and Catherine left, but Farah, Allan, Charles and I decided (well actually, THEY decided) to hang out pa sa Starbucks. kase bitin pa raw sa kuwentuhan.
yung paalam ko sa nanay ko na hanggang alas-otso lang ako... ayun... naging alas-onse pasado.
buti na lang di ako napalo.
marami pang litrato, LAHAT NANDITO.
![]() |
L-R: Charles Kue, Farah Bantiles, Louie Castillo, Allan Alcayde, Me, and Catherine Hernandez |
yung paalam ko sa nanay ko na hanggang alas-otso lang ako... ayun... naging alas-onse pasado.
buti na lang di ako napalo.
marami pang litrato, LAHAT NANDITO.
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Isaw and Manggo Shake with Sissy Farah
what did i say? huh? didn't i say me and Sissy Farah would see each other again soon?
and so we did! for some food-tripping in UP Campus.
and so we did! for some food-tripping in UP Campus.
more photos OVER HERE!
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Sissy and Jollibee
today i met up with two of the best things in the Philippines. Jollibee and my bestest chum, Farah
Bantiles-Ongkingco... i've been to jollibee last time i came home in 2008, but this is my first time to see Farah again after high school. we met at robinson's galleria and first, she gave me the sim card that i would use from today onwards (while i'm in manila, at least).
and then, second important agenda: sit, eat chickenjoy, and catch up on each other. translation: chikenjoy and chika, chika, chika. too bad i only get to spend a couple of hours with her coz i had to hurry back home because mal and chichi are waiting for me at the Avida Towers. but of course we're still gonna see each other again soon! can't wait!
VIEW ALL PHOTOS HERE
Bantiles-Ongkingco... i've been to jollibee last time i came home in 2008, but this is my first time to see Farah again after high school. we met at robinson's galleria and first, she gave me the sim card that i would use from today onwards (while i'm in manila, at least).
and then, second important agenda: sit, eat chickenjoy, and catch up on each other. translation: chikenjoy and chika, chika, chika. too bad i only get to spend a couple of hours with her coz i had to hurry back home because mal and chichi are waiting for me at the Avida Towers. but of course we're still gonna see each other again soon! can't wait!
VIEW ALL PHOTOS HERE
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
A Letter to the Man Who Raised Me
i didn't think i'd cry so hard when you left. i didn't think i'd regret not trying hard enough to see you before the life left your eyes.
but i did. i regret it. so much.
and i don't even know why. i guess.. it's true what they say. when you get to the end you start to think about the beginning.
and in the beginning you were my father. eventhough i've always known you weren't. eventhough i've always wondered if that was how you felt... my father. was i ever a daughter to you? or have you always seen me as what you've always called me? a responsibility. an excess baggage of the woman you chose to be your wife.
i may never know how you really felt towards me.
but i will always know, and i will never forget that you took me in. i will always remember that when i was young, everybody told me that my father left me. but never, not even once, have i ever felt that i didn't have a father. because you were there. i wouldn't even be calling you my stepdad if i never learned that word; and if people didn't wonder why Kuya Josel and I had a different surname from the rest of the family.
along with the sentiment that you were always
too strict with me, i will always remember that, if it weren't for you, we, my mom, my kuya, and i, might still be living in a rodent-infested shanty in a street full of poverty-ridden families whose daughters get pregnant at an age below 20.
or maybe not...
but i wouldn't know that. all i know is the strong house, the not-so-perfect-but-fun-and-close-knit family, and the comfortable life that i grew up in when you took me and my mom and my brother in.
it has always been a love-and-hate relationship between us. but sometimes, even real father-and-daughter relationships have that. malyn is your real daughter. and she sometimes hated you, too. so i guess my angst and frustrations were still within legal limit of a normal, healthy father-daughter relationship.
and whatever shortcomings, whatever wrong decisions you may have made later in your life have no longer affected mine. you've made your impact long before i left home.
Dad, i have always loved you and hated you and feared you and respected you the way any daughter would love and hate and fear and respect her own father. You took me in, and raised me the best way you know how. I may not have the best and happiest life on earth, but I turned out just fine. And I will always have you to thank for that.
Inspite of all the words that were said, and despite all the words left unsaid, between us... THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, Dad.
my heart grieves. but i find comfort in knowing that you're finally healed in the arms of our Lord. Rest in peace, Dad...
but i did. i regret it. so much.
and i don't even know why. i guess.. it's true what they say. when you get to the end you start to think about the beginning.
and in the beginning you were my father. eventhough i've always known you weren't. eventhough i've always wondered if that was how you felt... my father. was i ever a daughter to you? or have you always seen me as what you've always called me? a responsibility. an excess baggage of the woman you chose to be your wife.
i may never know how you really felt towards me.
but i will always know, and i will never forget that you took me in. i will always remember that when i was young, everybody told me that my father left me. but never, not even once, have i ever felt that i didn't have a father. because you were there. i wouldn't even be calling you my stepdad if i never learned that word; and if people didn't wonder why Kuya Josel and I had a different surname from the rest of the family.
along with the sentiment that you were always
too strict with me, i will always remember that, if it weren't for you, we, my mom, my kuya, and i, might still be living in a rodent-infested shanty in a street full of poverty-ridden families whose daughters get pregnant at an age below 20.
or maybe not...
but i wouldn't know that. all i know is the strong house, the not-so-perfect-but-fun-and-close-knit family, and the comfortable life that i grew up in when you took me and my mom and my brother in.
it has always been a love-and-hate relationship between us. but sometimes, even real father-and-daughter relationships have that. malyn is your real daughter. and she sometimes hated you, too. so i guess my angst and frustrations were still within legal limit of a normal, healthy father-daughter relationship.
and whatever shortcomings, whatever wrong decisions you may have made later in your life have no longer affected mine. you've made your impact long before i left home.
Dad, i have always loved you and hated you and feared you and respected you the way any daughter would love and hate and fear and respect her own father. You took me in, and raised me the best way you know how. I may not have the best and happiest life on earth, but I turned out just fine. And I will always have you to thank for that.
Inspite of all the words that were said, and despite all the words left unsaid, between us... THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING, Dad.
my heart grieves. but i find comfort in knowing that you're finally healed in the arms of our Lord. Rest in peace, Dad...
Hey...
why were you in my dreams last night? what were you doing there??? why were you holding me the way you always held me before? why were you looking at me the way you always looked at me before?
why do i miss you now?
you really are my immortal, aren't you? you will never die... you can never die in my memory. you will leave me alone for months, years... and i'll stop thinking about you. i will forget about you.
and then one day you're gonna just show up in my dream and make me wake up feeling empty.... just as you had many times before, many years ago.
and i'll bet you're out there eating your dinner, maybe with your wife, not even remembering i still exist somewhere on the other side of the earth..
why do i miss you now?
you really are my immortal, aren't you? you will never die... you can never die in my memory. you will leave me alone for months, years... and i'll stop thinking about you. i will forget about you.
and then one day you're gonna just show up in my dream and make me wake up feeling empty.... just as you had many times before, many years ago.
and i'll bet you're out there eating your dinner, maybe with your wife, not even remembering i still exist somewhere on the other side of the earth..
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Lord of the Rings
ngayon lang gabing ito ay naisipan kong muling panuorin ang pelikulang The Fellowship of the Ring ng Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
ewan ko ba pero sa dinami-dami ng mga bagay at ala-alang muling nagbalik sa aking isipan sa panunuod ng pelikulang ito, dalawang obserbasyon ang talagang malakas ang dating sa akin.
1. ang bading talaga ni Sam! TL na TL talaga sya kay Frodo.
2. hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin ma-relate si Gandalf kay Magneto. ibig kong sabihin, i still can't come to terms na ang dalawang character na to, na tila dulo-dulo ng highway ng EDSA ang layo ng karakter sa bawat isa, ay ginanapan ng iisang aktor lang. ang astiiiiiig talaga.
hehehe.
yun lang.
ewan ko ba pero sa dinami-dami ng mga bagay at ala-alang muling nagbalik sa aking isipan sa panunuod ng pelikulang ito, dalawang obserbasyon ang talagang malakas ang dating sa akin.
1. ang bading talaga ni Sam! TL na TL talaga sya kay Frodo.
2. hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin ma-relate si Gandalf kay Magneto. ibig kong sabihin, i still can't come to terms na ang dalawang character na to, na tila dulo-dulo ng highway ng EDSA ang layo ng karakter sa bawat isa, ay ginanapan ng iisang aktor lang. ang astiiiiiig talaga.
hehehe.
yun lang.
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